The Dance
by Loolabelle
Summary: Daniel finally gives in.


A/N: This is a fic that I wrote to give my brain a rest from my other story that is a WIP. Also, it is a double dedication. It is dedicated to firstly, my grandfather, who recently passed away. I love you Grandpa! Also, it is secondly dedicated to my recently born nephew, Caleb Thomas. He is going to be just like his Aunt, annoying, stubborn, intelligent, and amazingly cute in his own way! lol. Hope you enjoy. R&R!!!  
  
  
  
Memories of the Dance  
  
Doctor Daniel Jackson slowly made his way to his car. He was thankful to finally go home, get away from everyone and everything that reminded him of...He shook his head, again swallowing the lump in his throat, and unlocked the door.  
  
As he headed off base, his mind began to wander back to the past few days. He had successfully ignored the sympathetic stares, barely acknowledging anyone's presence after the Memorial Servic. He had kept his emotions relatively in check, only shedding tears in the privacy of the now empty informary. Those tears were more out of shock, the reality of the fact not having truly hit yet. Everyone had been concerned for him, but Daniel had kept his distance. Normally, he would be seeking out the help of his friends, but they wouldnt have understood. How could they know that the woman who was killed so quickly beside him was the woman that he was so in love with.   
  
Daniel shook his head and cleared his throat. He needed to get his mind off of her...He flipped the radio on, not really caring what was on, only that he could focus on the music instead of everything else that was racing through his head. He landed on the local country station and paused, letting the haunting strands of music flow over him.   
  
Looking back, on the memory of  
  
The dance we shared, beneath the stars above  
  
His mind switched to a couple of weeks ago. They were all at Jack's house, celebrating Danil's birthday. Everyone was there, SG1, General Hammond, Cassie, and Janet. After he had opened his presents, they had sat down to talk, laughing as Jack let Cassie taste the red wine that the adults had.  
  
"Ewwww....How can you drink that?!" she cried, sticking her tongue out, making a face that had cracked everyone up. Janet, who had given Jack permission to let her daughter try the alcohol, had just shook her head and laughed. A/N: obviously I dont approve of underaged drinking, but hey, who didnt get to try a sip of wine or beer before they were 21?!  
  
Daniel was enjoying himself, despite the lisght depressiong that always hit him on his birthday. Excusing himself, he made his way out to the deck in back of the house. Looking up at the stars, he began to hum slightly to the music that was filtering out from the house, sopping when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning in surprise, he found Janet beside him, grinning.  
  
"Hi." he said, noticing, as always, her beauty. God, this woman could take his breth away.   
  
"Hi." she replied simply and stood beside him, looking up at the stars.   
  
"Beatiful." he murmured, not sure whether he was commenting on the bright stars above or the woman much closer to him. Janet turned to him with a smile.  
  
"Happy birthday, Daniel." she said and pulled him into a hug. Daniel held onto her tightly. Not wanting to let go, he began rocking them gently to the music.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Daniel cleared his throat hard at the memory, ignoring the ever growing lunp of tears trying to escape. The lyrics continued as he drove downt he road.  
  
For a moment, all the world was right  
  
How cold I have known that you'd ever say goodbye  
  
And now, I'm glad I didnt know,  
  
The way it all would end, the way it all would go  
  
Daniel jumped as the memory flashed on front of his eyes again. She was there, right beside him again, but this time they were in the middle of battle. She was there. She was trying to save a man's life. Then, she was just...gone.   
  
Our lives are better left to chance  
  
I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss   
  
The dance.  
  
He felt the walls start to crumble, fought to keep them up. He wanted to be tough, be brave. He wanted to hold himself together. He wanted to turn this damn song off! He failed at all of it as the first tear made it's way past the carefully constructed barriers, and Daniel pulled off the road. He knew it was useless to fight it at this point.  
  
Holding you, I held everything  
  
For a moment, wasnt I a king  
  
He sniffed as he felt the words wash over him. He had held Janet so long that night, only letting go when someone had tapped on the glass to tell them to come in. Daniel had felt light and giddy, having held the doctor so close to him, so tight.  
  
If I'd only known how the king would fall  
  
It goes to say, you know I might have changed it all  
  
When Daniel had looked to his side for Janet and he hadnt seen her, he could feel the blood drain from his face. When he saw her body, he would swear everything had gone silent. Rushing over to her, he could barely breathe. The unusual silence was broken by his scream for a medic.   
  
And now, I'm glad I didnt know  
  
The way it all would end, the way it all would go  
  
Our lives are better left to chance  
  
I could have missed the pain  
  
But I'd have had to miss the dance  
  
He finally let the tears go and they quickly built to wracking sobs. He crumbled, resting his body against the steering whell for support as his body violently shook. He let out all the frustration and pain pent up in him. He hadnt been able to save Sha're, and now he had failed Janet, too. As the sobs that were filling the car began to die down into painful gasps, Daniel realized that neither of the women that he had loved and lost would want him to give up. As he rested his head against the wheel in front of him, he let the words from the song play in his mind.  
  
Yes, my life, it's better left to chance  
  
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss   
  
The dance  
  
  
  
He would go on, continue going through life. He would never love again, he knew this, but he had had the love of one, possibly two women. He would go on with the memories of his dance. 


End file.
